Self-talk is the private chatter than goes on in our mind that no one listens to but ourselves. It’s our internal monologue and automatic thoughts that reveal our core beliefs. Have you ever heard the phrase silent but deadly? This can be so when it comes to our self-talk because our thoughts direct our feelings which direct our behaviour. Take a moment to think about this; your behaviours are the fruit of your values and thoughts. Are you wanting to change your behaviour then you need to get to the core of what you believe and what you are thinking?
Self-talk is fast, and did you know that our we can think up to 500 words per minute the average person speaks approximately 100 – 130 words per minute! Let that sink in! When I first read this, I was shocked that is a lot of words, and if words hold power, what kind of words make up our self-talk?
Self-talk can be subconscious, and core beliefs can originate from our family of origin. I have the privilege of working with clients to uncover core beliefs, offer strategies to analyse one’s internal dialogue and change the script if it’s not of good service to their lives. Whether you choose to work with a therapist, or you are starting to be mindful of your self-talk, a place to start might be your irrational thoughts. Dr Albert Ellis was a practitioner of rational emotive behaviour therapy. During his time as a therapist, he identified 12 irrational beliefs that many people have you can find these here.
Ellis’ definition of an irrational belief is that:
- It distorts reality
- It is illogical
- It prevents you from reaching your goals
- It leads to unhealthy emotions
- It leads to self-defeating behaviour
What is your next step when it comes to your self-talk?