Breakups – Things To Do After A Relationship Has Broken Down

Every time you thought you couldn’t keep moving forward, you did. Take a moment to appreciate your strength.

In this week’s episode, we look at things to do after a breakup. Breakups are tough, whether it’s something we have initiated or if it’s someone else’s decisions that we now need to navigate.  Before I ever started my journey as a counsellor, the concept that we grieve a relationship was foreign. I thought that one grieves when someone we love passes away. Knowing this can normalise the breakup and validate the heartbreak felt after the relationship is no longer while also acknowledging that each situation is unique to the individual. It doesn’t take away from that.

Esther Perel, a relationship therapist, talks about rituals for breakups or divorce. She explains how there can be many rituals around marriage, for example, rings and things that mark the beginning where the ending of a relationship can be legalistic. Rituals for breakups can be important because they can help us understand that while the relationship might be over, we are not over. The ritual can help bring closure and prepare us for knowing that life goes on despite the pain that is present.

What can these rituals look like? It can look like packing up the other person’s stuff from your space. It can be writing a breakup letter, sometimes it can be sent to the person, and sometimes it’s the exercise of expressing and writing it down and then ripping it up. It might be going to the places that held significance to the both of you and saying goodbye to them, like the place of marriage or favourite spot. And, of course, practising self-care. Esther shares about how important connection is in moments like these and to hear how others have navigated their breakups, sharing the experience with others rather than in isolation.

On a finishing note, one can focus on work, connections and distractions during a breakup. Be kind to yourself as you find your feet as a single person. Take this moment to reinvent yourself, try new things and seek support. Thanks for joining me on the podcast, and every time you thought you couldn’t keep moving forward, you did. Take a moment to appreciate your strength. Until next time take care.