Family of origin is where we come from, it’s the story that has been written up to this point, it can play a significant part in where we are heading and how we get there. Before I unpack this further, I understand that the topic of family can be a difficult one and I just wanted to acknowledge that before we go ahead. If you are facing difficulties in your relationships, I encourage you to get the support that you deserve. It might be talking to someone you trust or a professional.
Family of origin can play a big part in how we view the world and ourselves. It is where we learn how to do relationships, define roles, set rules that we live by and discover our way of being in the world. Sometimes we don’t realise the influence our family of origin has on our lives, and this can be in both in helpful and unhelpful ways. As a counsellor, family of origin work is what I get to do with clients. Where together we look at patterns that may have been passed down through the generations, the different dynamics between family members, rules about emotions and possible family secrets such as divorce, domestic violence and addictions just to name a few.
The aim of family of origin work is to create a deeper understanding and awareness of one’s self, work through any unresolved hurt and determine what the future could potentially look like for the generations to follow. When we grow in a particular environment, it becomes our normal and if we don’t stop and take a look at why we do the things that we do it’s like we continue to live life on autopilot. The process can be empowering because we get to see things for what they are taking what works and leaving behind what no longer does.
It can be helpful to look back so we can move forward.