It doesn’t take a genius to see that the world we live in is constantly changing. We are growing in innovation, technology and social media which is great and something that I enjoy, but have we just become busier and busier? With the demands of work, raising children, paying bills and aging parents, how do marriages and families survive these pressures?
Up to 60% of married people can expect to stay married to the same person until one partner dies (Australian Institute of Family Studies (1993), ‘Divorce Trends’ in Family Matters Issue no. 35). This statistic got me thinking! Firstly, about the 40% of the people whose marriage is more than likely to dissolve. Can preventative measures change the per cent of this statistic, decreasing the risk of a marriage breakdown? If you have been impacted by a marriage breakdown, you know, it affects not only the individuals but also the children (if there are any involved), extended family, friends and communities. If you are experiencing a marriage breakdown first-hand, the road can feel long and tiresome. Let me encourage you that there is life after a marriage breakdown. It is also wise to surround yourself with people who care and are going to walk alongside you during this hard time!
My second thought is what the quality of marriage for the 60% of people that can expect to stay married until one partner dies is? Why have a good marriage when you can have a great marriage? See how I didn’t say an easy or a perfect marriage! Perhaps a great marriage can happen when a couple chooses to lean towards each other rather than turning away from each other and considering when the couple have come to an agreement on their marriage goals and values. This can work as an anchor for when things get tough, and it can become easy to lose sight of why you both started this journey together in the first place. A practical way you can do this is for each person to write what their goals and values are for the marriage. You may like to incorporate your wedding vows into this also. Then come together to discuss your goals and values and combine them both into one by writing them down and putting it where you both can see it. Felipe VI of Spain quoted “Sincere and generous collaboration is the best way to fulfil the legitimate aspirations of each person and achieve great collective goals for the common good and the general interest.”
If you are in Australia and require further assistance with your marriage, you are experiencing domestic abuse, could do with some marriage maintenance or need someone to talk to about a marriage/relationships breakdown here are some contact numbers:
Immediate danger: 000
Crisis support: Lifeline 13 11 14
Relationships Support: Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Or go to my counselling page
Wherever you find yourself I wish you a progressive week and until next time.C