Preparing for Marriage

People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship. – Dr Gary Chapman

In this week’s episode, we look at preparation for marriage. I came across a post by Rachel Cruz, and it read, “preparing for a wedding is one thing and prepping for a marriage is another”. If you have ever organised a wedding, you would know the detail involved from colours to flowers and everything in between. Don’t get me wrong, I love any reason to celebrate but let’s look beyond the day. What happens when all the guests leave, the presents have been unwrapped, and the demands of life test the commitment that has been made?

There were 49,116 divorces granted in Australia in 2019. In my opening quote by Dr Gary Chapman, he explains that people do not get married to get divorced. Learning the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship may be the key to a long-lasting marriage. How does one prepare for marriage? Perhaps it starts with a conversation on important topics like money (are you a saver or a spender), physical intimacy (is it important to you and how often), roles (who will do what or what is done together), values (what is your purpose in life), communication style (are you a talker or an avoider) and family of origin just to name a few. For more on this, you can head over to

On a finishing note, it can be super helpful to have a trained counsellor come alongside you and your soon to be husband or wife during this process. Having a third party involved in the process can help facilitate conversations around these topics and can help you set a solid foundation as you transition into marriage. A thought might be to look at it as an investment in your future marriage. If this is you, I would like to wish you all the best for your wedding day and marriage. Until next time