“Go laugh in the places you’ve cried”
In this episode, we talk about changing our narrative. While we can’t undo the past, we can change the meaning or the narrative of it. By changing the narrative of our past, we start to change the narrative of our present and our future also. The process does not deny the narrative; it removes the full stop.
If we are unaware of our narrative, it will go unchecked, and if our narrative goes unchecked, the chances are we see the world and ourselves through our default lens. For example, if we have experienced setbacks, we might fall into seeing ourselves as a “failure”, and everything that doesn’t go to plan reinforces that belief that I am a failure. On a side note, I am still yet to meet someone who has never experienced a setback. I will use this example to explain the concept further.
Firstly, if we understand that setbacks are a part of life, we remove unrealistic expectations, perhaps the very thing that sets us up to fail. Secondly, what we do is separate from who we are. Our identity is not based on our doing but instead on our being. In being, we are valuable, lovable, unique and all the like. Behaviour is what we do and can be modified. Thirdly, give our stories the room to evolve, make room for new beginnings, take the lessons learnt and build upon previous chapters. Easier said than done, yes, because it takes work to choose the story we tell and the very themes that define the narrative.
So, an example of how the narrative can go is, “I’ve had a go and had a few setbacks, I am no good so why should I even bother, I might as well give up. I am such a failure” vs “I’ve had a go, I’ve had a few setbacks. I’ve learnt a thing or two and did my best. I may try again or choose to try something different either way I am capable of having a go”.
Going back to this episode’s opening quote, “go laugh in the places you’ve cried”, it’s a process. If you choose to go to those places where you’ve cried, do so when you feel ready and in the company of those who can support you well. On a finishing note, the process does not deny the narrative; it removes the full stop. Keep safe and take care.