As the saying goes, to love others, you must love yourself. Maybe this whole loving yourself concept comes easy for you, or you’ve learnt to love yourself along the way. It may even sound ridiculous or perhaps foreign to you. Before you make up your mind about self-love, I ask that you allow me to take a moment to share what self-love is, what it isn’t and show you a glimpse of how I am learning to “love myself”.
Now let us get a few things straight on what self-love isn’t. Loving yourself is not to esteem yourself higher than anybody else, nor is it to play the game of comparison. Love is not arrogant nor ignorant but sees through the eyes of truth for who a person is, flaws and all including the way you see yourself. Love chooses to be kind despite the facts. On the flip side, you may have believed that you must always come last. That you are not worthy of taking the time to care for yourself or do the things that you enjoy because that may be perceived as being selfish. I am not promoting selfishness; instead, I would like to invite you into the equation. At times loving yourself can be taken out of context.
Loving myself didn’t come naturally; I had to work at it, as a matter of fact, I still do every day. This was something I started to focus on after one of the darkest times in my life when I felt I had completely lost who I was. It took time and plenty of patience with myself, but I refused to stay in that place. I’ve learnt a lesson called value and that I was deserving of it no matter where my life and choices had taken me up to that point in time. I started to believe that I could choose where I was heading. I am the one who sets the standard for myself and nobody else. The thing about loving yourself is that no one can do it for you.
For me loving myself is in the little things like saying no when I know it’s the right thing to do instead of saying yes. It’s to take the time out when I need to recharge and do what I enjoy. It’s setting a standard for how I want my life to look like and to make decisions according to my convictions. To you, it may look different, and it’s not about following a set of rules; instead, it’s finding what works for you. No matter where you find yourself, I want to remind you that you are worth the investment, and in return, those around you will also benefit. Can I also encourage you to start with some small goals for yourself, whatever that might look like? I would love to hear how this is going for you. Until next time, I wish you all the best. C
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